Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Late-night's top hosts spent the evening ridiculing President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday jingle about the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... spoils everything he touches."

The focus was the new initiative which allows overseas individuals to acquire U.S. residence for an investment of one million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for $5 million. A government page promises processing "in record time."

"One note for you to wealthy immigrants: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "get cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, requiring large fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval ratings amid financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to address cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of food items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.